In line with the theme of 'speaking out' we'd like to know your answers to any of the following: (your responses can be anonymous if you wish)1. How has gender violence affected you personally?
2. What do you think about the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children?
3. Have you been tested for HIV?
4.Is there anything you're doing personally to raise awareness about HIV and/or gender violence?
To enter your response click the 'comment' button below.
Thank you for your contribution.
And remember, by keeping the silence, you're continuing the violence...
2 comments:
It was obvious that he wanted to hook up with me right from the beginning of the night. Just the little things he said and did that were more significant than they seemed at the time, made me fully aware of the attraction and his intentions. “There’s a seat over here,” he said calling me to the opposite side of the crowded dorm room. He started massaging my back.
A few drinks later, I was coming back to the room, from the bathroom. But he timed it out so perfectly so that we’d be in the hallway at the same time. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my lips with a little bit of force. I went back in the room, recalling the fact that he had a girlfriendwho was out of town.
He gave me a few more drinks , and when I had had enough, I announced my departure, said my good nights, and headed out.
He followed me, saying he’d walk me back to my dorm, which was about a five-minute walk. Instead of heading towards the elevator door, he led me to the lounge at the end of the hallway and shut the door. We started kissing, and after a few minutes, he picked me up and carried me to the table, where he laid me down. I told him, as he began to pull my dress up, that I did not want to do this and reminded him of the fact that he had a serious girlfriend. I distracted him with questions. “Do you love her,” I asked. “Yes,” he replied, “but it doesn’t matter, she’s probably doing the same thing.” And without even realizing it, I looked down and he was standing right in front of the table where I lay, having sex with me.
I never considered this incidence rape, because I always put a certain amount of blame on myself. I was the one who got myself that drunk, I walk the one who allowed him to “walk me home” and to kiss me, and I was the one that didn’t say “no” while it was happening. Now I realize you don’t have to say “no” for it to be rape . . .you have to say “yes” for it not to be.
It happened to me once and it really affected me for a long time after. Luckily I had a loving family and friends who supported and looked after me so that I never felt vulnerable enough to go back.
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